The other channel
by Improbabile
Summary: Sam gets tired of the huge amount of sexual frustration between Dean and Cas, so he asks Gabriel for some help. The archangel apparently decides that nothing is better than TV-land to make people understand something, and finds just the best movie to make all the sexual tension disappear
1. Chapter 1

**"Author"'s note: **sooooo... I'm not sure if anyone's ever done this, but I just had this idea of Dean and Cas being thrown in TV land in a porn movie and I just had to write it down. A huge thank you to ImagineYourself64 who beated. I'll post next chapter when I can (and there you'll see the good things). If you liked it, if you laughed at the end, if you think I just suck at writing, leave a rewiew please!

**Warning: **language

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural

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There was a reason Dean almost never let anyone else drive his Baby. First, of course, because she was his Baby and no one else's, and even when Sam—the person he trusted the most—was driving he got apprehensive. Another reason was that driver picks the music, and after a three hour journey with songs picked by Sammy he decided that he was a hundred percent done with his brother's music.

The last reason, which he discovered quite recently, was that if he was driving he had to concentrate on the road. Maybe sometimes he could turn his head, but most of the time he just couldn't (like now, who the hell thought that idiot with the blue car how to drive?). If he was sitting shotgun, he ended up spending the whole journey glancing at the backseat. Not that it was that interesting per se, but when a certain Angel of the Lord was sitting there... well, Dean could spend days just looking at him. And that was so fucking embarrassing.

Even now, the hunter had to remind himself constantly that if he didn't see a deer and hit it because he was too busy looking at Cas, Sammy would never let him leave it down. Because really the man was attractive. Probably one of the most attractive people Dean had ever seen. Also the most amazing guy Dean ever met. And he was pretty much sure he was in love with him. And here he goes again, throwing a quick glance behind himself.

Taking a deep breath, Dean pulled out of the road to stop at the first crappy motel he found. Next to him, Sammy stretched his arms. Or at least he tried to. The guy still hadn't got that the car wasn't made for a moose like him.

«We're staying here tonight,» Dean said, taking a deep breath as he got out of the car. Of course, Cas was already out waiting. The point he was standing on was perfect for Dean to end up in the other's personal space just as he straightened.

«I'm taking the room,» Sam said, walking toward the reception. Dean merely nodded, looking right at Cas' deep blue eyes. They really were mesmerizing.

«We should... Get going,» Dean said after a few seconds of silence, swallowing. Cas nodded, breaking eye contact. Dean hurried up following Sam.

«Here's our room. I think I'll hang out for a while later, you coming?» Sam asked as they reached him.

«I'll stay here. 'M feeling a bit tired.» Sam stared at Dean for a couple seconds, then nodded and went out of the door. Cas just sat on one of the beds. Dean was trying his hardest to not think about how pretty Cas was, how soft those lips looked, how much he wanted to throw that trench coat in a corner of the room together with all of the angel's clothes and... No, no, no, he had to not go there. He shifted for a minute, trying to hide his erection and finally managing to make it go away thinking of Bobby and Crowley doing nasty things. Sitting on the other bed, he turned on the TV without turning to watch Cas. Man, he was so fucked.

Sam was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Of course, he started feeling slightly awkward every time he was praying more or less in the same period he realized how angels truly were like, but kneeling in a church (which was ironically named after the archangels) for ten minutes straight trying to ignore the three elder women who were checking him out was really annoying.

Deciding he'd had enough, he stood and walked out. Just as he was wondering if he should just give up and take the matter in his own hands, he heard a known voice from behind him.

«Be happy, oh human, because I have heard your prayers and your desire will be granted,» Gabriel paused and raised an eyebrow «Really Samsquatch, a church? I didn't take you for such a traditionalist.»

«Yeah, ok, are you just going to be sarcastic or will you actually help me?» Sam said, as he felt heat on his face.

«Awww, you're sooo cute when you blush Samantha. Anyway, I have to tell you, yours was quite the thing. And dude, you have no idea of what people asked me for.»

«Not sure I want to know either,» Sam sighed. «Look, I know we aren't exactly bbf but I can't think of anyone else to ask for this. And I really can't take it anymore, so please Gabriel, just do it.» Gabriel seemed to think for a second.

«That's more of a cupid sort of work, not exactly an archangel turned trickster's, though I can understand it if you're not too fond of those guys.»

«Please Gabriel, you have no idea of the sexual tension you feel when you're in the same room of those two. It's a wonder they still haven't worked it out when they're basically having eye sex all the fuckin' time,» Sam said, using the deadly combination of puppy eyes and slightly whining tone. Apparently, even archangels weren't immune to that.

«Riiiight... Ok, I'll think of something. But you owe me one Samsquatch, remember it. Guess we'll see each other soon enough. Just go to the motel now.» Gabriel disappeared with a flutter of wings. Sam sighed and started walking.

When the hunter got back, he found the motel room to be empty. Both Castiel and Dean were missing, and the TV was running on static. He felt cold. What if something happened to them? What if Gabriel had played him some kind of dirty trick? What if...

«What if, what if, what if… Your brother and mine are both fine, just not here. Really, I thought you trusted me Sammy.» The archangel put on an offended face that was quickly replaced by a grin after Sam jumped in surprise and gave him a look between a bitchface and a death glare.

«Why do you angels have to do that every time?» he asked.

«Call it a family trait. Now that we are here,» Gabriel took Sam by one arm and piloted him toward one bed, «let's sit and enjoy the show.» Sam blinked a couple times, before bitchfacing with all of his bitchfacing power.

«You didn't.»

«I did. Hungry?» the archangel offered him some popcorn he just willed into existence «As you know I prefer sweet things, but with a movie I usually stick to these. At least until I get tired of them. C'mon Sammy, you can't possibly refuse any kind of junk food, it's in human nature to eat it.»

«Yes I can. And I don't really need to watch this, whatever it is.»

«Stop bitching, it's about to start!» Gabriel said excitedly, forcing the bowl of popcorns into Sam's hands and replacing it with some candies as the TV started to play.

The first thing Dean noticed was that he wasn't driving his Baby. He was driving some strange truck in a strange alley he never saw before. He tried to stop, but apparently he couldn't. He tried to reach for his phone, but he couldn't move his hands away from the steering wheel. He was slightly panicking. On top of it all, there was a satellite navigator making strange, annoying noises.

«After 200 meters, turn right,» said a voice from the little thing.

«GABRIEL! What the fuck are you doing?» Dean roared. He hadn't liked the situation at all, and now that he knew who was the responsible, he was really pissed off (and a bit nervous, he still remembered the Japanese show).

«Saying what way you should go. After 150 meters, turn right.»

«Where am I? And where are Sam and Cas?»

«Sammy is here with me and yes, he's fine. As for Cas, you're about to find out. After 100 meters, turn right. And you're in TV-land. Old rules Dean-o, play your role if you want to get out.» Dean swore against the archangel, but the only responses he got were the monotone directions he should take. Which he did, since he had no way of knowing what the hell could've happened if he didn't. Probably something bad. Even if the archangel was one of the good guys, Dean didn't exactly trust him.

«You have reached your destination. Now be a good boy and do what you're meant to do. Enjoy!» Dean stopped. He was in front of an anonymous house, no different from all the other houses around. His hands were no longer glued to the wheel. He got out of the truck and went toward the house. After a moment of hesitation, he rang the doorbell. He waited. He rang again.

«I'm not exactly sure of how this thing works.» a gruff voice said.

«Cas! Are you ok?» Dean asked, feeling relieved.

«Dean? Yes, I am fine, but I am not sure of what I should do right now. All I know is that Gabriel told me to play my role, but I am unsure of what it would be.»

«Yeah, me too. I guess try with opening the door?» After a minute, the door opened and Cas came out of it.

«Dean, I still do not understand,» he said, tilting his head in that adorable way of his that made Dean's legs go weak.

«Welcome to the club. I guess your asshole of a brother wanted us to be here, so... let's go in?» Cas nodded. They walked into the house, which to Dean looked vaguely familiar, though he couldn't put his fingers on where he saw it. «Ok you bastard, we're here, now what?» Dean asked, looking up.

«Do I really have to tell you everything? It's not that hard, well at least not yet, but I bet Cas already has an idea. And this is the last time I'm telling you anything about the game.» Dean turned toward Cas.

«Care to tell me something?» The angel nodded and blushed and Dean raised an eyebrow.

«I believe you would be the pizza man Dean.» he said. He pointed at the truck Dean had been driving, which had the words "Pizza Delivery" on one side. And in that moment Dean decided that yes, he was so going to have extra crispy archangel's wings once he got out of this.


	2. Chapter 2

**"Author'"s notes: **hey there! As promised, second chapter holds all those smutty things you all read this for ;) Big thanks to everyone who left a review and to my beta ImagineYourself64. Hope you like it!

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In the motel room, Sam almost choked on the popcorn he ended up eating and gave Gabriel what Dean called "the Bitchface of Death", something he rarely used and only on his brother when he was really pissed. The trickster kept grinning, even if he squirmed a bit.

«The pizza man? Tell me you're joking.»

«You must be fuckin' kidding me, you asshole!» screamed Dean from the TV.

«I'm not. Sammy, stop glaring like that, you're making me uncomfortable.»

«I'm not watching my brother banging Cas, who by the way is your brother, you perv,» Sam hissed, keeping his bitchface firmly in place.

«Hey, it's not like I want to see that either! I'm just making sure they actually start doing something, then I'll put on something else, I swear!» Gabriel said. Sam still glared at him, but he must've been convinced because he nodded and resumed eating his popcorn, though he was ready for smashing the TV if needed.

«You motherfucker, you must be joking if you really think-»

«Oh, shut up Dean-o. Just do what you're there for and don't feel embarrassed, I'll change the channel once you start, also because Samsquatch here would kill me if I don't. But don't try to get away with nothing, I may not be watching but it's my pocket dimension and I'll know when you're done.» Dean just kept swearing loudly until Cas put a hand on his shoulder.

«I'm fuckin' KILLING that son of a bitch!» he yelled.

«I think I will be glad to help you, but now we have... other matters to think of,» Cas said, looking anywhere but Dean's face. Shit. Sure, Dean wanted to take the angel to bed, he really wanted, but... But not like that! Damn, he didn't want the guy to get traumatized and scared and feel violated and anything.

«We're not doing that Cas, I'll think of something else ok?» he said. The angel merely nodded and fixed his gaze on the wall. Dean sighed. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. Same for the windows and all the other doors in the room. After five minutes of trying, he sighed and sat on the big couch. Cas sat down too, though not exactly next to him. Those sixty centimetres between them made Dean's heart ache.

They sat like that for some awkward minutes, in which Dean felt like sinking. He wanted to be with Cas so badly, not just in the "let's have great, wild sex" way, but in every other way too. But he wanted his angel to be 100% ok with that, not just letting the whole sex thing go by because he had to. It would just make everything so fucking awkward between them. Not to mention, Cas never showed any interest in those human things.

«I... I am afraid there is no other way apart from doing... what Gabriel sent us here for.» Cas' voice almost startled Dean. He turned around to see the angel's gaze still on the wall, his hands moving on his lap in clear nervousness.

«Yeah, I don't see any other choices,» Dean said.

«I am sorry Dean, just tell me what... what I need to do and I will do it,» Cas told him. His words took some minutes to be fully registered by Dean's brain. The hunter frowned.

«I should be sorry, man, not you, it's not me who's being forced to do something he doesn't want to,» he muttered the last part under his breath. Cas finally turned toward him, head tilted.

«I do not understand. I believed you did not feel physical attraction toward me» he said. Oh fuck. No way he should've heard that. Dean felt himself becoming white, then red and turned to look the wall, coughing.

«It's just... I kind of, no well, I just... Y'know, you're kind of cute and I... Well, I was... attracted, yes, you could say it that way I guess,» he stuttered. He bit his lower lip. Damn it. That was all he needed, Cas knowing he would enjoy having sex with him.

«I... I think I feel attracted to you too, Dean,» the angel said. Dean looked the angel, eyes wide in disbelief. Cas still wasn't making eye contact, his cheeks of a beautiful shade of pink.

«You do?» Cas nodded «Well, that makes this easier.» Cas nodded again «Uh, so just wondering, you're still a virgin?» Cas now was positively red.

«Yes,» he said. Dean felt blood starting to go to his groin. Damn, he was the first one to ever be with Cas in that way. That thought just made his jeans tighter.

«I'll try to make it good for you.» Dean said «You ready?»

«I am.» Dean went to sit right next to Cas. The angel was watching his lips, apparently mesmerized. Dean cupped his jaw and pressed his mouth against the angel's lips. He pulled back after some seconds and watched Cas' face. Those blue eyes followed his movements, the pupils dilated. Dean kissed him again, this time moving his lips. And when Cas started to copy his movements, he knew his upstairs brain was doomed.

Dean ran his tongue against Cas' lips. The angel gasped and Dean used that moment to push inside of the other's mouth. He touched Cas' tongue with his own, earning a groan. Next thing he knew, Cas was laying under him on the couch, his hands on the back of his neck and was kissing back. Maybe he was not the most skilled of kissers, but the simple knowledge he was... well, Cas made Dean moan.

When they broke apart, Cas' hair was all tousled, his face flushed and his lips were shining with saliva. Dean ran a thumb over the angel's jaw, feeling the stubble tickling his skin. He couldn't remember the last time he ever felt this aroused just by making out with someone.

«You ok?» he asked.

«Yes. But I was thinking... If we are in the pizza man movie, then do we have to do the same things? Exactly the same?» Dean swallowed, knowing more or less what porn movies were like.

«Maybe, if you want to. I'm not sure of what was happening exactly.»

«I remember» Cas said.

«Then I guess we could try,» Dean answered. Cas put his hands on the hunter's shoulders and pushed him back, so they were both sitting. Hesitantly, the angel took of his trench coat and let it fall to the ground, followed by his tie and jacket. When he started unbuttoning his shirt, his fingers were trembling a bit.

«My... My vessel is not really feminine, so I am unsure you will actually like it.» Dean took Cas's hands in his.

«Hey, you're beautiful,» he said with a smile, helping Cas pop the buttons. When finally the fabric fell off, Dean felt himself coming to full hardness in his jeans. The man's chest was pale and much more sculpted than you'd say just by looking him clothes on. Dean couldn't help but ran his hands over the expanse of skin, making goosebumps appear on it.

«You... you should take off you shirt and your jeans.» Okay, Cas saying that was probably the most arousing thing Dean ever heard. He undressed, leaving only his boxers on, which by now had a really noticeable tent, that Cas was eyeing with an hungry look Dean was sure he never saw before on the angel's face. Feeling he was this close to just come only thanks to Cas' eyes, he cleared and throat and decided it was better to do something now.

«So... what's next?» Cas blinked and frowned. Then he leaned forward and put one hand over Dean's groin. The hunter moaned, his hips snapping up unconsciously. Cas started to move his hand, clearly without knowing what to do but it was enough to make Dean's cock drip some pre come. Dammit, he refused to think of himself as a horny teen coming in his pants, but the knowledge of having that cute, naïve angel touching him... ok, maybe he had a thing for virgins and all that stuff, but right now he wasn't exactly bothered by it. He groaned in frustration when the hand stopped.

«Now... I remember the pizza man was slapping the girl... You never explained me why he would do it,» Cas murmured. Dean felt a shiver running down his spine. He forgot about that part of the conversation.

«Uh, it's called spanking and if you're not comfortable doing that, we can jump to the next part,» he said, though a part of really wished Cas was comfortable enough. It wasn't something he ran around yelling for everyone to know, but the hunter had also a thing for spanking.

«I think I can do that.» Now Dean barely managed to suppress a groan at that. And he couldn't help but moan when Cas took off his shoes, socks and trousers. He could see a bulge in the middle of the angel's boxers, and Dean felt a strange pride in knowing he gave that awkward, innocent angel a hard-on. Then the awkward, innocent angel bent over Dean's thighs, ass in the air. The hunter lowered the angel's boxers and ran one hand over those firm cheeks.

«Tell me when you're ready,» he said, his voice husky.

«Whenever you want Dean,» came the reply. Biting the inside of cheek to keep from moaning, Dean slapped the angel's ass. The sound of the slap went straight to his groin. He did it again, each time hitting in a different point. By the fourth slap, he heard Cas groan and rub against him.

This time, Dean moaned too and used a bit more strength in the next slap. Cas' reaction was to moan louder and again the angel rubbed his hardness against his thighs. Apparently Dean wasn't the only one with some kinks there. They went on like that for a minute, up until Dean stopped and made Cas sit next to him on the couch.

«Why did you stop?» the angel asked, face flushed and boxers now with a wet patch on them.

«Didn't want to come yet» Dean said, pulling Cas against him for a heated kiss. While his tongue batted with Cas' still inexperienced but less passive one, he snuck one hand in the angel's boxer and stroked his cock. Cas broke the kiss and threw his head back, mouth open.

«Dean...»

«Fuck, Cas, you're just perfect» the blonde moaned. He took off his boxers and made Cas lay down. He threw the angel's boxers in a corner of the room and took both their cocks in his hand. The men moaned in unison as Dean started to stroke them and Cas bucked his hips, almost desperate for more friction. Dean kissed him and the angel put his hands on the human's shoulders, digging his nails in the heated skin.

Suddenly, Cas screamed Dean's name and came over them. The sight and the sensation of Cas' come against his skin threw Dean over the edge. The hunter came with a shouted "Cas" and then collapsed over the angel, who didn't seem to mind the weight. They laid down for a while, as Dean's breath slowly returned to normal.

«That was fucking amazing» was the first thing he said, his head still resting on Cas' chest. He never wanted to move, just stay there with his angel with him.

«Yes.» Cas paused «Dean?»

«Yeah?»

«Do you think we could do it again?» Dean chuckled against Cas' chest. He looked up to meet the angel's eyes. He'd really never get tired of looking into those blue orbs.

«If you want to, I'm all for it,» he said. A smile spread across Cas' features, warming Dean's heart a bit.

«Good.» Cas paused again «Dean?»

«Yeah?»

«...I think I might be in love with you» as soon as Dean's brain registered those words, he took Cas' face in his hands and kissed him.

«Love you too,» he murmured against the angel's lips. He felt Cas put his arms around his back and hug him close. Then the angel frowned.

«Dean, I'm feeling something strange.» As soon as those words left Cas' mouth, they found themselves tucked in a bed. Dean turned around and recognized his surroundings as the motel room they were staying in. The TV was turned on, and on the other bed he saw Sammy sitting with Gabriel, the two eating popcorns and some strange sweet Dean didn't recognize while watching CSI: Miami.

«C'mon, it was obviously the husband who killed her!» the archangel was saying.

«I am sorry, who killed who?» asked Cas frowning. Sam jumped in surprise and Gabriel merely turned towards them with a grin.

«Hello lovebirds, how did it go?» the Trickster asked.

«Be grateful I'm too sexed out to kill you right now,» Dean muttered.

«Ok guys, I'm trying to ignore the fact you two are naked, I don't need you to say those things,» Sam said.

«Shut up. And how the fuck did you have the great idea of making me and Cas end up in a porn movie?»

«It's Samsquatch's fault.» Both Dean and Cas turned toward Sam.

«It's not true! You put them in that thing!»

«Yes, but you asked me to do something about them.»

«You asked this asshole what?» Dean said.

«I asked him to find a way to make you two realize you'd totally fallen for each other, since the sexual tension was killing anyone in a five miles radius,» Sam answered, bitchface in place.

«Sammy, you're a bitch.»

«Jerk. Now excuse me, I'm not sleeping with you two naked in the other bed,» he said, heading towards the door. Gabriel chuckled.

«I guess I'll go and torment Sammy a bit then. Have a nice night boys.» With that, the archangel disappeared, leaving Dean and Cas alone.

«Our brothers are bastards» Dean said.

«While they are hardly to be considered illegitimate children, I believe you are right» Dean smirked «I was wondering Dean... before you said we could do that again...» the hunter laughed.

«Gimme five minutes and then I'm showing you a couple more things we can do when we're alone.»


End file.
